Marriage advice

6:17 PM Marcie Parson 4 Comments

When two people get married, everyone seems to feel like they have the responsibility to "grace" the couple with their infinite wisdom about marriage. It's a weird tradition, really, because (1) no one ever remembers what you tell them; (2) most of it won't apply to them anyway; (3) things can get reeeally awkward reeeally fast; and most importantly, (4) your marriage is not and will never be their marriage.

Most of the advice we were given went right over my head, and I don't remember 99% of it (refer to #1). However, we did get one piece of advice that will always stay with me: forget everything you were told about marriage and make it your own

How beautiful is that?

For the first few months of our marriage, I was so excited about creating our new life together. Because I was unemployed, I sat at home hunting for jobs while Craig went off to school -- and let's be honest, new jobs weren't popping up every minute. I ended up wasting my time on social media to try to figure out how to cook/decorate/be a cute housewife.

Weeks went by and I started to get discouraged that I was far from what I thought I should be. I still didn't have a job. I still didn't even know what kind of job I wanted. I still couldn't cook. I still wasn't crafty. I still hadn't hung anything up on the walls. We still didn't have furniture. I didn't do an ounce of decorating. I was stuck, all alone, in a tiny apartment with white walls, beige carpets, and beige linoleum. 

Well guess what.

Seven months later, our apartment still has bare, white walls because I still haven't hung anything up. We still don't have a lot of furniture; our kitchen table is a plastic card table, which we use with plastic folding chairs. Our small (thrift store) couch is beige, which adds a nice flair to our beige theme we've got going on. Our meals are becoming simpler and simpler, and sometimes we just have ice cream for dinner (oops). I still can't sew or cook or "DIY" anything like Pinterest told me I could. Although I finally found a job, it doesn't pay much and therefore doesn't make a dent in our student loans. 

But somehow, although I'm as far from "Pinterest perfect" as possible, my life is infinitely more magical than I imagined it could be. Every day I wake up next to an impossibly kind, loving, and encouraging human being who makes me feel like a million bucks. He spends the majority of his day working so hard to make a good future for our little family. We don't see much of each other with my long work days and his long study days, but during the one hour that our schedules happen to overlap, he lets me koala bear him way more than a normal person should. We have no money -- in fact, we have negative money -- but I've never been happier.

I may have forgotten everything we were told about marriage, but we've made it our own. As a result, I have fallen in love with this beautiful, simple stage of our life. It's real, it's ours, and I wouldn't have it any other way.




4 comments:

  1. Yes. I cried. Bawled like a baby. I couldn't be more thrilled about your marriage and who you are helping my little brother become. I love you both to the moon and back.

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  2. Remember how you're married? And remember how like a year ago we used to prounce on each others beds and imagine you and Craig getting married? I'm so happy, even though I miss you so much every day. Love you Marce.

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  3. You guys are so cute!!! One day you will look back fondly on these days and say 'remember when we lived in our first apartment?' Love you so much and can't wait to see you in a couple of weeks!!!

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  4. I LOVE this. Marcie, you're amazing :) Thanks for this post...such a good reminder! I can relate on so many levels (about not decorating, cooking, sewing...etc...and I've been married longer AND am home all day...so I'm even more of a "failure"...haha) Thanks for reminding me of what matters, and that being married in and of itself is enough. Our lives and marriages are soo good, and we are so blessed! :)

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