Thoughts on pregnancy
There are two thoughts that are constantly running through my head:
- I'm 35 weeks pregnant. I cannot even BELIEVE that next month (?!?!) baby boy is making his arrival. Maybe the baby showers did it, maybe it's the "nesting," but my excitement has skyrocketed! We can't wait to meet him! Also - BABY CLOTHES. So tiny and so perfect. Am I right?
- I'm 35 weeks pregnant. I cannot even BELIEVE that next month (?!?!) baby boy is making his arrival. TIME SLOW DOWN! I only have 5 more weeks?! Cue tears. Never come out, child. Never. I am not ready. I don't think I ever will be ready. And I'm pretty sure I have no idea what I'm doing and should not be able to be responsible for another human being. Isn't there a way to get my body back without having to birth a child?
I am constantly switching back and forth between these extremes. Because my thoughts and emotions are all over the place, I'm not even going to try to organize the rest of this post. Here are some more random thoughts/feelings/updates about pregnancy right now:
+ Aside from the usual aches and pains (back aches, general discomfort, heartburn, and sheer exhaustion literally all day), I actually have been feeling pretty fantastic for the last few months, which has been very refreshing since the first few were a doozy. Now I'm just trying to adjust to the whole "whale" thing.
+ I told someone the other day that pregnancy is the hardest thing I've ever done... and at the same time, I am practically doing nothing at all -- my body is just kind of on autopilot! It's amazing, really. A complete miracle. Hence the phrase "the miracle of life."
+ Baby still doesn't have a name yet which really stresses me out. I want to name him Wesley and call him Wes, but it's a no-go for Craig (whose middle name is Wes... explain that one to me). Craig wants to name him James but call him Jim or Jimmy, which makes me want to die inside because James is a perfectly good name.
+ My mom has officially freaked me out into thinking this baby is going to come even earlier, since apparently it runs in the family. Cue thought #2.
+ The other day, one of my patients told me I'm really starting to "show in my face" and "fill out." WHAT!? Please add that to the list of things NOT to say to a pregnant lady.
+ Speaking of work, only two more weeks left! It will be so weird to be done, but so nice at the same time since I am starting to seriously slow down, and my 12 hour days are killing me. A lot of people think I'm crazy to be quitting to stay at home. Many people remark that it's "so nice" that I'm "able" to stay at home... as if my husband is totally supporting us and we are living the dream. HA! Joke's on them. Hellooo student loans.
Basically I'm an emotional roller coaster.
God bless my sweet Craig.